Musings on Ferguson

I am really saddened by the news I am reading related to Ferguson and other senseless violence against black people in America. From where I sit in Dakar it has been thrown into stark relief how divided America still is, in ways that are hard to explain to non-Americans. The image of white police forces facing off with black protesters reminds people of the Civil Rights Movement, good in the sense that people are fed up and ready to confront power, but sad that little has changed in 50 years. As a black man who has been to quite a few places I can tell you racism and prejudice exist everywhere, but I can also tell you that it has been a relief to spend the last 9 years not having to deal with American-style racism. There is a weight lifted that is hard to explain, but it is a freedom that I am loath to give up.

America is a great place full of amazing people, and at times I miss it so much, but I know America can be better, and I want America to be better. I sense that America is falling behind as other parts of the world are leaping forward and that fear reveals the tenuous peace that exist between different communities. I read a black person saying how it feels to always be a suspect, to have to teach your children how to not get shot by the police (interestingly many of these boys were following their parents advice when they got shot), and what it feels like to live in a police state where you are constantly harassed (the colonist revolted against the British for less than this). These are conditions that the white majority would never accept in their communities. And then to read a white man saying the media should realize how dangerous it is to be a cop, as if these things are mutually exclusive, with total disregard for what your fellow citizens are trying to tell you about their every day existence. In their communities it's "my taxes pay your salary buddy", in the black community it's "please don't shoot, I don't have a gun".

So when people ask me is America still racist, I have to answer, yes, extremely. There is no scenario where two large groups can have two diametrically opposed views on the world and have two separate lived experiences when it comes to power and the state without those groups, for the most part, living completely separate lives, and for no other reason than skin color. However, what inspires me, is that there are so many good people, of all races, faiths, national origins, sexual orientations and economic background who see this elephant in the room, and in big and small ways want to change a system that finds it so easy and justifiable to take black lives.

Evil happens when good people do nothing. It is possible in today's America for people to say they are not racist, and be sincere. But the racism that may or may not be in someone's heart is not my concern, was not the concern of the Civil Rights Movement and of little concern for most black people in America. You cannot police people's hearts. The problem is the system of power that oppresses black people which is mostly still intact. From chattle slavery, to Jim Crow, to redlining to subprime mortgages, there is a system of power, often invisible to those who benefit from it, and all to obvious to those on the receiving in, that needs to addressed.

I recently heard a good quote from Jane Elliot: "Racism exists because accurate history is not taught." I will leave you with that succinct phrase, because that accurate history to unwieldy to unpack here. But I implore you to read Ta-nehisi Coates article, it's long, The Case for Reparations http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/05/the-case-for-reparations/361631/, and check out this documentary Blue Eyes Brown Eyes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQAmdZvKf6M, which is eye-opening (pun intended).
 

Walk a Mile

I used to work for ATD Fourth World in Paris, which also has teams in the US (NYC, DC, Appalachia, New Orleans, Gallup), and this story makes me tear up. Because it reminds me of so many stories I heard from around the world during my time with ATD, whether it was the West or the rest, First World or developing, democratic or autocratic, the well-off's treatment and (mis)understanding of people living at the margins was disturbingly similar. I do not believe in conspiracy theories but there is not a place or time where the wealthy do not refer to people living in poverty as lazy, irresponsible, dangerous, unfit, dirty, liars and thieves. And there is another aspect that comes through clearly in this article, and I have seen it with racists and homophobes, there is no need to talk to certain groups to get their perspective on their own lives. 

You meet a rich man and you ask him, what his parents did, what school did he go to, how did he become so successful, what amazing things does he do with his free time. You meet a mother in a desperate situation in a dentist chair and you tell her if she is not going to take this seriously then get out. You tell parents working long hours for minimum wage with limited education they are irresponsible for not taking an interest in their child's education, while also assuming the worst of their child because of how he comes dressed to school. There was a very important equation I learned while at ATD, and as a lover of math, it was a succinct way for me to visualize the struggle, and understand why poverty eradication is so difficult.  Poverty = material deprivation; extreme poverty = material deprivation + social exclusion. 

This equation is the shorthand for explaining the "Ramen fallacy" in that eating noodles and pasta your freshman year does not in anyway give you insight into extreme poverty or the solutions for getting out of it. But the equation also underlines a sad fact and that is poverty is man-made, it does not have to exist. People who work full-time and yet never seem to accumulate wealth or even make it to the end of the month are being deprived, the parent who is lectured by their child's teacher and not treated as an equal is being socially excluded. For the employer who deprives, or the social worker who excludes, there is no sanction, yet the person who inevitably remains in poverty is blamed for not being able to stand up to the boss, or the teacher, all of whom, in a myriad of ways, make it perfectly clear that certain people's opinions and needs are not relevant.

The boat analogy is apt, because when you are cut off from society and have few resources and the only people who you can turn to are in the same boat, this results in entire neighborhoods being excluded and deprived. Communities that are so deprived that when politicians demonize, when yuppies gentrify, when police criminalize, they are powerless, insecure in their political rights, housing, employment and personal integrity.

Though it will not be easy, instead of looking at a family who is less fortunate than yours and wondering what these people did wrong and if they are unfit to be parents, maybe you can ask them, where did you grow up, or what amazing things do you do in your free time.  But instead we ignore and consider everything said as suspect.  As a nation we decided that will not make energy policy without the oil companies, or attempt healthcare reform without the pharmaceutical industry, or change food policy with agro.  But when making policies that are meant to "help our poor" the voice of those most concerned and the real experts on what it means to live in poverty is deafeningly silent.  We have always been told, to understand someone's life you must walk a mile in their shoes, but  before you can walk that mile you first have to ask them how they got here.

Do Everything Right and Be Rich Like Me.

This article nearly moved me to tears (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-irwin/20-things-poor-people-really-do_b_4533691.html). ATD France published a document refuting commonly held stereotypes about people living in poverty and it is nice to see someone did an English version. There is no other group that has been so maligned regardless of location or era. This demonization of people with less is as old as time. It was no small thing that the Bible continually mentions the poor and what they can expect and what the rich can expect. But I have never witnessed so much ignorance concerning those in poverty; a total lack of credible information from the source. A rich person opines on the habits of the poor as an Englishman opines on the habits of the Frenchman. And shocker, neither likes what they see, they can only see how their side is abstractly better, more moral, more hardworking, and the other is irredeemably lost, and what is worst... happy being French. Of course I jest, because this analogy is imperfect as the Frenchman likely has similarly strongly held views about the Englishman and in the end both are biased but neither is truly harmed, and can meet as equals. But people in poverty do not have their own books, and TV shows, and blogs that can counter the daily defamation heaped upon them by the rich, and they may even believe the things that are being said about them. Disfavored groups often believe the caricatures that outsiders paint of them. But there are consequences to these harmful and dehumanizing views, and it is particularly heinous when they are lies. "Our" representatives can say boldly that if you do not work you should not eat in a debate on SNAP, at once, overestimating the benefits received and assuming that if you receive them you necessarily do not work.

I once spoke to a man who claimed that it was too easy to be poor in France, that they have it so easy, and I asked him, if it is so easy, then why isn't everyone doing it. He replied, some people have values and morals and some people do not. I did not really know to make of that at the time, but now it makes sense. How do you justify extreme wealth and privilege? If it is a societal issue, than those with the most power in society are to blame and will be responsible for solving the problem. But your other option is to blame the poor and their morals, values and choices. In this scenario even providing assistance can be considered immoral, if you have listened to any conservative politician, you are actually making people living in poverty lazier and more immoral by trying to give them a leg up. So cut the benefits and do drug testing. I tried to find a list of the 20 worst habits of the rich on Google. Needless to say, I did not find one, but that would certainly make an interesting read or better yet, the 20 worst habits of the rich towards the poor. When all your assumptions about a group are negative that should be a red flag that it is a crude representation of that group, and most likely way off the mark and completely missing what is really behind a particular action. If a business leader can sit in a class to learn how to do business with the Chinese, would it hurt to do the same with people living in poverty. The first thing you learn with dealing with foreign cultures is that you do yourself no favors by judging another culture by grafting your values and habits onto it. What constitutes a good decision is as culturally rooted as it is personal. An American decides whether or not to take a vacation, a Frenchman decides when. A more privileged individual can decide to take more risks in the comfort that if it goes wrong they will not lose any of their privilege, or can decide to just sit comfortably on their wealth and privilege with little fear of losing it. Our realities determine what choices are even possible for us, and what may be a good choice to take is out of the realm of possibility for some.

I will leave you with a story that stuck with me from my time at ATD. A woman in Guatamala who lived in a slum was asked why she had bought a big TV and should she not have used that money in a "better" way. And she explained how she lived in a violent slum, with rampant gang activity and bad schools. She believed that the TV would not only occupy her children so that they would not fall victim to gangs but it would stimulate their minds and give them a leg up. She made the best possible decision in her circumstance based on her means. That is what we all do, and sometimes the gamble works out.  Just my two-cents, but I think that more work to needs to be done to demystify poverty. That said, I will leave you with this quote.

“Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed.” Herman Melville

What You Do for the Least Among You

I have to stop reading the comments after reading a well thought out article on any subject, I am starting to lose my faith in humanity. I don't know if it's just sport for some people in the US, or if comments are a fair representation of how Americans think, but if I read an article on reforming our prison system, or on transgender rights, or racial profiling, or gay marriage or anything about Muslims or Islam, inevitably the majority of comments are so hateful, so bigoted and more importantly so callous. I use to think these comments were from trolls trying to get a rise, but when so many are saying the same thing and having a conversation among themselves, I fear the worst. I like to read these comments and articles from many sources as I don't want to be in a bubble where people aren't racist, homophobic or transphobic, have Muslim friends, see women as human beings, and can imagine that even though someone may have committed a heinous crime and should be imprisoned it is not the job of the state to torture them in perpetuity. I am not a Christian, in fact I am atheist, but I try to live by two quote from the Bible, and I wish, if America is going to call itself a Christian nation, it too would live by these passages.

Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

But I love this one even more, as it's a duty to humanity, a call to action that guides me in my live and the work I try to do and is an important quality that I admire in others.

Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least among you, you did not do for me.'" Matthew 25:41-45

The easiest impulse of an individual is to treat those most like them with compassion, empathy and understanding and those most different with disdain and as less human, those who everyone treats that way, those who appear flawed and thus deserving of our contempt and ill treatment. That's easy, and we all do it. But let's be better. Let's be better than that natural impulse, let's do the hard work of stepping outside of ourselves, our comfort zone and imagine what it's would be like if you were a teenager being followed on a dark and stormy night by an armed stranger, even if you were black, black people get scared too, or what it would be like to be imprisoned and to not have seen the sky or another person in 10 years, or to be a man who knows deep down you are a woman and puts on a dress and goes to a party and ends up brutally murdered by a mob. Or positively, to find out that you just got the right to marry in your state.

What touches me in these examples, and they are varied, is the idea of justice, whether the lack there of or its realization. And the opportunity, if only on paper, to step out of myself and my comfort zone. To learn that there are so many ways to be whole and fully human in this world, and that variety is what makes life so fascinating and exciting. But it seems that so many people cannot even do that. On comment on the prison piece stood out to me, a lone voice in a sea of callous indifference, one person noted that being in prison is the punishment, the physical and psychological torture and abuse by guards and other inmates is not suppose to be apart of that punishment. To say that criminals should be punished and treated humanely are not mutually exclusive. In fact, in a just society both are required. I am still encouraged by the people I know and read about who are reaching out the least among us and doing Jesus's work, they go to places both physically and mentally that are difficult places to be and sometimes even access and they struggle and are tested, but they keep at it, and that gives me hope and motivates me. I cannot say much about Jesus's many fan clubs, but I for one will do my best to always stand with the least among us.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to City Hall

Funny thing happened to me at city hall (la prefecture) this afternoon.

So I decided that I would go down to the foreign office and find out whatever happened to my residency permit, seeing how I applied for it in August and had received two letters asking for additional documents. After standing in line for almost an hour I finally made it to a window and informed the lady behind the glass that I had not received a notification letter, or any other letters asking for more documents, as is their wont. She checked on her computer to see if my card was ready, and sadly, and she did genuinely look sad, informed me that it still was not ready, and in fact they were waiting for just one more document, apparently Mika's birth certificate, the long form, showing that we are still civilly unioned (PACSed).

So I was quite pissed that they wanted more documents and I had not received the letter stating that. The lady behind the glass said, "well I will at least renew your temporary paper (récipissé)"; which was nice, because I heard another woman tell people they would have to come back the following day and would need a photo ID. So she gets up to get the blank paper and comes back to her seat and starts entering my details into her computer to print out the new temporary ID. But then looks blankly at her screen for a moment, and then looks up at me and says "I can't do anything for you". I was really not in the mood to hear that, I asked "what do you mean?". Then she asked me if I had submitted a naturalization application, to which I responded yes, thinking, every little thing trips you up. The lady behind the glass said "well the computer says that your application is invalid, I can't give you a temporary ID, in fact, I don't even need your partner’s birth certificate". I was becoming perplexed, so she showed me the screen which said in bold letters at the bottom of the screen, THIS APPLICATION IS INVALID, YOU CANNOT PROCEED.

So I asked her the obvious question, "Why not?" To which she responded in a typically bureaucratic way, but with a smile in her voice, “Because you’re French, I can’t issue a foreign residency card to a French citizen”. I stood there slack-jawed, and she asked, “didn’t you receive a letter informing you of the decision, which I had, but the language was so legalistic I was not exactly sure what it meant, and even if I had a strong hunch, I was not entirely sure when it would be “official” official. I told her that I was still waiting for the official announcement to appear in the French government journal (Journal Officiel) and in fact, I had sent an email to the Journal to find out when my announcement would appear and make it official. To which she replied, “it’s official, you’re French, I don’t know when you will receive your French ID, so be on the lookout for the announcement, they’re going to want to have a little ceremony”. And that is the story of how I found out it is official. I’m French.

Guess Who's Back?

Well after a long break spent mostly writing my Master's thesis, I am back to ramble on about whatever it is I happen to be doing. I will spare you a lengthy recap of the past 10 months, like my day at the racetrack in Bois de Boulogne. Everything you thought about the races is true; the jockeys are tiny and the hats are enormous. In fact, as a general rule of thumb, your hat should be large enough to hold a jockey inside. Here are some highlights from 2009/2010.

1. My Cooking Side

Due to the amount of time I spent at home I decided to try my hand at cooking, which proved to be very fruitful. I have developed a facilité in the kitchen and my cheesecakes and pies, though not award-winning (yet) are dinner party favorites.

2. My Artistic Side

I have been singing and performing a lot more this past year. After my failed attempt to join the Paris Gay Choir, Podium (story to come), I dedicated myself to the Embassy Choir and eventually joined the “elite” breakaway group the Dip Notes. Both groups performed at the Ambassador’s Christmas party surprising not only the guests but the Ambassador (a former Wiffenpoof) with this unknown embassy talent. The Embassy Choir also performed at St Michael’s Cathedral near Madeleine to support an AIDS clinic in Malawi. I heard my first flute quartet at this event, here’s hoping there is some sort of flute quartet competition that I could attend. Dip Notes just had the pleasure of performing the Marseillaise and the Star Spangled Banner at the Ambassador’s 4th of July Reception. It was an incredible honor and overwhelming to be singing for over 3000 guests from the highest echelons of the French and US government and military.

Back in March I was also called out of hiding to be in the American University’s production of Rent. Though I had no time and was behind on completing my thesis, I also vowed that if someone asked me to play Tom Collins, I would drop everything. So I helped an incredibly dedicated cast put on a two act musical in three weeks. It was incredibly grueling and at times appeared that it would never come together; but on opening night we blew the crowd away. It was a very rewarding and enriching experience on so many levels. I got my voice back and extended my range beyond anything I ever thought was possible. I met the most amazing people in this cast and made some friendships I believe will last for many years. And I got to relive the genius Jonathon Larson’s musical, a musical that saw me through high school, and share that enthusiasm with a cast who were as passionate about the musical as I am.

Following the successful three-day run of Rent I was asked to sing with the Paris Choral Society for their upcoming concert of 9 opera choruses. Once again, the rehearsals were intense but in the end the concert came together very nicely. I was even selected to sing a 3 person soli from the opera Moise. So in short, singing in going well and there is no shortage of singing opportunities.

2. Expanding My Horizons

I also took several trips during the past 10 months as well. First trip was to Brussels for Christmas. Thanks to Adrian, my former supervisor at IGLHRC who now lives in Brussels, who let us stay in his apartment while he was in New York. Though this past winter was bitterly cold and snowy, it made for a perfect Belgium Christmas. Mika and I enjoyed typical Belgium delights; waffles, chocolate, cherry beer, stews and the lights and sounds of the Central Square.

A few weeks later, in mid-January, a group of friends, Mika and I headed up to the Alps for a four-day ski adventure. It was my first time skiing so needless to say I did not. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the ski village (or hwillage). I had the best Grand Marnier hot chocolate with home-made whipped cream and locally made chocolate sprinkles. It was heaven in a thick mug. The mountain scenery was breathtaking and the evening card games were simply delightful. No trip in France is complete without some amazing food. I ate the most amazing galette, which I cannot wait to try again. For dessert I had a Grand Marnier flambéed strawberry crepe smothered in melted white chocolate. I did attempt to snowblade, but it was short lived and eventually I settled for sledding down a modest incline.

The end of January I found myself in one of my favorite cities. London. I was there officially to take an exam for the Presidential Management Fellowship, which I did not score well enough to get. Seeing how the exam was Wednesday morning and I arrived the previous Friday, there was plenty of opportunity for fun and mayhem. There is little to say about London, good friends, good food, good bars and good music, I never get tired of it. During this trip I saw Sister Act starring the beautiful and talented Patina Miller. The show exceeded my expectations and Patina had me on the edge of my seat from the first song. Contrary to common wisdom, I took advantage of the wonderful and varied cuisine the English capital has to offer, including a traditional chicken roast. My last day in London was spent walking the financial district looking for prewar architecture.

In February my best gay Nick came to Paris for five days for an unprecedented level of merriment in Gay Paree. Unfortunately I do not remember all that we did, and for some reason there are very few photos of his trip. In May my childhood best friend Michelle and her sister Christy came to Paris for a week of fun. Though the weather barely cooperated (it rained for 7 days) a good time was had by all. We even took a trip down to Condom in the Gers for the Bandas, which was my first. Parties, brass bands, and drunkenness. A few weeks later we were back in the South for the wedding of Mika’s cousin. She was a beautiful bride, and the whole event was simple and elegant. The reception was lovely; delicious food, great drinks and even a bit of karaoke.

Conclusion

End of June was of course Gay Pride. And this was the best Gay Pride I have spent in Paris. I was surrounded by good friends, Gay, Straight, Lesbian and Mika. The atmosphere in the city was… well, it was gay. The parade, though very chaotic compared the American prides, was fun to watch and the after parties at Bastille and in the Marais were jumping. This year was nice, because I have discovered the greatest cocktail bar in Paris and spent the end of pride at my favorite watering hole. So from here on I will probably be writing about new events and catching you up on some things that happened over the past year in greater detail. So though I am still eagerly job searching, I am doing my best to have as much fun as I can. In that oh so Franco-American way that I do.

I'm back

Well after a long break spent mostly writing my Master's thesis, I am back to ramble on about whatever it is I happen to be doing. I will spare you a lengthy recap of the past 10 months but I will highlight a few highlights of 2009/2010.

1. My Cooking Side

Due to the amount of time I spent at home I decided to try my hand at cooking, which proved to be very fruitful. I have developed a facilité in the kitchen and my cheesecakes and pies, though not award-winning (yet) are dinner party favorites.

2. My Artistic Side

I have been singing and performing a lot more this past year. After my failed attempt to join the Paris Gay Choir, Podium (story to come), I dedicated myself to the Embassy Choir and eventually joined the “elite” breakaway group the Dip Notes. Both groups performed at the Ambassador’s Christmas party surprising not only the guests but the Ambassador (a former Wiffenpoof) with this unknown embassy talent. The Embassy Choir also performed at St Michael’s Cathedral near Madeleine to support an AIDS clinic in Malawi. I heard my first flute quartet at this event, here’s hoping there is some sort of flute quartet competition that I could attend. Dip Notes just had the pleasure of performing the Marseillaise and the Star Spangled Banner at the Ambassador’s 4th of July Reception. It was an incredible honor and overwhelming to be singing for over 3000 guests from the highest echelons of the French and US government and military.

Back in March I was also called out of hiding to be in the American University’s production of Rent. Though I had no time and was behind on completing my thesis, I also vowed that if someone asked me to play Tom Collins, I would drop everything. So I helped an incredibly dedicated cast put on a two act musical in three weeks. It was incredibly grueling and at times appeared that it would never come together; but on opening night we blew the crowd away. It was a very rewarding and enriching experience on so many levels. I got my voice back and extended my range beyond anything I ever thought was possible. I met the most amazing people in this cast and made some friendships I believe will last for many years. And I got to relive the genius Jonathon Larson’s musical, a musical that saw me through high school, and share that enthusiasm with a cast who were as passionate about the musical as I am.

Following the successful three-day run of Rent I was asked to sing with the Paris Choral Society for their upcoming concert of 9 opera choruses. Once again, the rehearsals were intense but in the end the concert came together very nicely. I was even selected to sing a 3 person soli from the opera Moise. So in short, singing in going well and there is no shortage of singing opportunities.

2. Expanding My Horizons

I also took several trips during the past 10 months as well. First trip was to Brussels for Christmas. Thanks to Adrian, my former supervisor at IGLHRC who now lives in Brussels, who let us stay in his apartment while he was in New York. Though this past winter was bitterly cold and snowy, it made for a perfect Belgium Christmas. Mika and I enjoyed typical Belgium delights; waffles, chocolate, cherry beer, stews and the lights and sounds of the Central Square.

A few weeks later, in mid-January, a group of friends, Mika and I headed up to the Alps for a four-day ski adventure. It was my first time skiing so needless to say I did not. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the ski village (or hwillage). I had the best Grand Marnier hot chocolate with home-made whipped cream and locally made chocolate sprinkles. It was heaven in a thick mug. The mountain scenery was breathtaking and the evening card games were simply delightful. No trip in France is complete without some amazing food. I ate the most amazing galette, which I cannot wait to try again. For dessert I had a Grand Marnier flambéed strawberry crepe smothered in melted white chocolate. I did attempt to snowblade, but it was short lived and eventually I settled for sledding down a modest incline.

The end of January I found myself in one of my favorite cities. London. I was there officially to take an exam for the Presidential Management Fellowship, which I did not score well enough to get. Seeing how the exam was Wednesday morning and I arrived the previous Friday, there was plenty of opportunity for fun and mayhem. There is little to say about London, good friends, good food, good bars and good music, I never get tired of it. During this trip I saw Sister Act starring the beautiful and talented Patina Miller. The show exceeded my expectations and Patina had me on the edge of my seat from the first song. Contrary to common wisdom, I took advantage of the wonderful and varied cuisine the English capital has to offer, including a traditional chicken roast. My last day in London was spent walking the financial district looking for prewar architecture.

In February my best gay Nick came to Paris for five days for an unprecedented level of merriment in Gay Paree. Unfortunately I do not remember all that we did, and for some reason there are very few photos of his trip. In May my childhood best friend Michelle and her sister Christy came to Paris for a week of fun. Though the weather barely cooperated (it rained for 7 days) a good time was had by all. We even took a trip down to Condom in the Gers for the Bandas, which was my first. Parties, brass bands, and drunkenness. A few weeks later we were back in the South for the wedding of Mika’s cousin. She was a beautiful bride, and the whole event was simple and elegant. The reception was lovely; delicious food, great drinks and even a bit of karaoke.

Conclusion

End of June was of course Gay Pride. And this was the best Gay Pride I have spent in Paris. I was surrounded by good friends, Gay, Straight, Lesbian and Mika. The atmosphere in the city was… well, it was gay. The parade, though very chaotic compared the American prides, was fun to watch and the after parties at Bastille and in the Marais were jumping. This year was nice, because I have discovered the greatest cocktail bar in Paris and spent the end of pride at my favorite watering hole. So though I am still eagerly job searching, I am doing my best to have as much fun as I can. In that oh so Franco-American way that I do.